Remembering to breathe

I am making myself dizzy

Up so high that the air is thin

And then so far in the depths 

It's hard to breathe.

I soar and fly and somersault

Free, inspired, creative

Full of possibilities

Full of hope.

Without warning I'm in free fall

Plummet down and down

Until I can't get much lower

And I stop.

I sit with my head in my hands

Dissatisfied and worried

Concentrating fully

On misery.

Either way I realise:

Flying or falling, 

Ecstasy or despair

I don't breathe.

It's only when I'm still that I know

That I need to breathe

I need to inhale

You.

I need to fill myself with you

To feel cool air rush in

Touch every cell in me

Inspire. 

Allow you to fill and refill me

Every breath I need to start again

Inhaling deeply

Living.

I need the life you give me

If only I take a breath

For air to reach

Every fibre of me.

Sometimes I forget to take a breath

I am so absorbed in being me

That I don't breathe at all

Until it hurts.

Sometimes arrogance prevails

I think that I can do this

I think that I don't need to breathe

That I'm enough.

Without your life the best I am

Lasts only as long as a breath

Held tight and short

Before I gasp

I can't do anything holding my breath

I can't see or hear or feel

Fear takes over

Paralysis.

I am powerless without you

I can't manage on my own

I need your breath 

I'm waiting.

Listening for the whisper of your Spirit

To breathe life into me

So I can mean something

Reason to be.

So I am here and I am expectant

Focused on you

I am still and I know

You are God.